Karl Lagerfeld Hates Swans, Borscht, and Cell Phones, But Likes Naomi Campbell's Boyfriend

Karl Lagerfeld Hates Swans, Borscht, and Cell Phones, But Likes Naomi Campbell's Boyfriend

>> May was a whirlwind month for Karl Lagerfeld. He staged a cruise show in Venice, spent some time filming a ballerina while talking swans — "They are the meanest animals in the world, you know. I had problems with them as a child. They hate children. I was caught by one, so I know" — and how dancers are favorable to actresses — "Elena [Glurdjidze], she made everyone here [at the tutu fitting] happy today. And you don't get that from actresses, when they come, hmm? Elena has charm. Others, not so much. Don't ask me names."

Then, he finished up the month in Moscow — visiting the city for his first time ever on Thursday — for a presentation of Chanel's Paris-Moscow collection which first debuted last December; the show marked the first time a Chanel collection has been located in Moscow since 1967.

It must have been a short trip — he didn't even have time to do sightseeing at the Red Square and St. Basil’s Cathedral, which were near his hotel. “Moscow is a city I knew quite well without coming here because I’m an informed person — there are so many books, novels, photos, that in a way I know it . . . I have a feeling I know exactly what is in every museum,” Karl quipped.  He explained that he prefers imagining a place to visiting it: "You’re never disappointed by your imagination, but you can be very disappointed by reality.”

"I'm a computer." »

In between the showing and a photoshoot with Naomi Campbell in a czarist-style outfit for V magazine, Karl — who traded in his typical Dior Homme for a Martin Margiela suit and tie — took some time to impart some of his signature sardonicism on the topic of Russia: “I think the women are better than the men. I think if I were a woman here, I would be a lesbian.”  But there is one notable exception: “I met only one very handsome man — that’s the boyfriend of Naomi [Vladislav Doronin]. He’s quite stunning. With the others, maybe I don’t have the right eye.”

Karl "cannot stand" borscht, and typically relies on steamed fish and grilled vegetables for sustenance.  He lamented that Russians couldn't get food right, and brought "some of his staples — corn bread and a protein source" along on the trip, according to WWD.  It must be what gives him his computer-like abilities, as he told Russia Today: “I never analyze my collections. I do eight collections for Chanel each year — they overlap. Sometimes I work on two collections at the same time. But I can separate my mind, I’m very organized. In fact, I’m a computer. Also because I don’t use cell phones and computers. My computer is my brain.”