FabSugar

FABTV: De La Soul "Me, Myself and I"

FabSugar — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 04:23:22 PST

For Thanksgiving week my family escaped to Lake Tahoe for some wilderness R&R. Suffice to say, I had some much needed me, myself and I time. And, the air is so crisp up here. You know I love my old school hip hop bands and De La Soul is one of the best. This song jams for itself, but it's always cool seeing the fresh fellows of the group. The '80s classroom setting reminds me a bit of Saved by the Bell - but these fools are way cooler. They were super styley in their own unique way. And their music is always uplifting and creative - I am thankful for the soul, de la that is.

In Her Shoes: April Beyer, Matchmaker and Relationship Coach

Anna Monette Roberts — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 03:05:36 PST

In the spirit of Valentine's Day, April Beyer, expert relationship coach and matchmaker, gives SavvySugar an insider's look into her unique career. Helping men and women find lasting relationships for almost 14 years, she is the founder and president of Beyer & Company, a matchmaking and relationship consulting firm. She's frequently interviewed and has been seen on Dr. Phil, 20/20, and Good Morning America. Beyond her weekly clients, April writes on her blog, conducts seminars, and is working on a book to help women prepare for love and romance. April tells us what it's like to assist other people on their journey to finding love and happiness.

SavvySugar: Can you tell me about your career path and how your business has grown throughout the years?

April Beyer: I started out in the high-end matchmaking industry nearly 14 years ago. I had worked with a matchmaking company and was there for about six or seven years. I was responsible for many marriages there. In 2003, I decided to venture out on my own and start a relationship coaching and consulting business. Now, I still have my matchmaking company. I work with a handful of highly successful marriage-minded men. I am also a coach and a writer.

Now my passion is to help women better understand themselves first so then they can naturally attract the man of their dreams. I am a little bit more of a holistic dating and relationship coach, but I think of myself more as is a communication and authenticity coach. For me, it's not about teaching people dating skills, it is teaching them relationship skills.

Click here to read more about April.

Adele Talks Grammys Nervousness and Being "Quite Carefree" in Vogue

Lauren Turner — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 12:04:39 PST

Adele lets her hair down on the cover of Vogue's March Power issue. The singer just won six Grammys at last night's show and performed for the first time since recovering from vocal cord surgery. Adele opened up about the experience of being forced to stop singing for a time, gave insight into her "big personality," and shared her nervousness about hitting the stage at the Grammys. Here's more from Adele in Vogue:

On being forced to stop singing: "I think if I hadn’t had my voice trouble, I would never have broached those subjects with myself. Now I just feel really at peace. And really proud of myself. I’ve never fully appreciated the things that I’ve achieved until now. In fact, my entire life has changed in the last ten weeks. I’ve never been so happy, and I love it."
On the public's perception of her: "I am quite loud and bolshie. I’m a big personality. I walk into a room, big and tall and loud. People think that I’m f*cking miserable, they are really surprised when they meet me that I’m chatty and bubbly and kind of quite carefree really. I’m the total opposite of my records."
On performing at the Grammys: "I’m nervous whenever I perform. But seeing that it will be the first time opening my mouth again onstage in front of my peers? I’m sh*ttin’ myself."

Photo credit: Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott/VOGUE

"I Just Got Separated: Should I Stay Hopeful or Move On?"

Tres Community — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 03:05:00 PST

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My partner and I separated recently, and it has been very hard on both us and the kids. Things were simply getting out of hand; too much verbal and emotional abuse on both ends. We were together four years and I was very happy and in love at the beginning, but once I began working things started to go downhill.

We were engaged to be married, but since things were not going as well as planned, I decided to give him back the ring. Between stress, work, and money troubles, we just had too many problems. When I wanted to have sex (usually at night because the kids were asleep), he would reject me, and when he wanted to have sex (usually in the mornings when I needed to get ready for work), I simply wasn't up to it. In short, I am a very independent woman and I do not like being controlled.

I had to leave my apartment to get myself and the kids out of that toxic situation. I still feel so alone and confused, but I am definitely relieved. Since we do share one child together, (2 yr old) we must keep in touch and come to an agreement on custody. Right now, he has him twice a week and every other weekend, in addition to giving me $70 a week to help support him.
One huge problem I have with him right now is that I don't want him to smoke pot when he's around his son. Honestly, I had no idea it was such a large problem until now. I knew he smoked, but I thought maybe once the baby was born, he could give that up. Clearly, I was wrong. I don't want to keep him from his son, but I really don't like that fact that he has to be under the influence with his child. Is that wrong?

I am hopeful that maybe time is what we need to appreciate each other more and maybe we will be able to get back together sometime in the future. Although it may sound ridiculous, I did love him - I was just exhausted of all the arguments. I feel so tired, damaged, and jaded. I need therapy, but it's just too expensive.
Any feedback from you readers would be greatly appreciated.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

"We Had Drunk Sex and I Feel Awful"

Tres Community — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 03:05:00 PST

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I had been "seeing" this guy for about three months, when it appeared to me that he really wasn't that interested in me anymore. He would always say that I worry too much but eventually admitted that "He didn't want to be in a serious relationship, but enjoyed my company and still wanted to be friends." I stupidly agreed b/c I really liked him.

Through the time we had been seeing each other, we fooled around but never actually slept together. I had told him that I didn't want to have sex unless we were committed and since he couldn't commit, we didn't let it get that far. Well...being the idiot that I am, I decided to hang out with him one weekend and go out to have drinks. He invited me to stay the night since he didn't want me driving home intoxicated, and I agreed. The deal was we'd sleep in different rooms.

Long story short . . . I drank wayyyy too much. I didn't even realize I was so drunk until the morning. I had blacked out, and woke up to find that we had sex. I apparently came on to him, very aggressively and wouldn't take no for an answer. He told me he resisted a couple of times and told me things weren't like that anymore, but I kept pushing. He also said that I was acting completely out of character and that I usually freak out about things like that, but that I was all for it. So he agreed to it.

I don't remember any of it.

Needless to say, he says he had a great time and doesn't regret it and asked that I don't regret it either. I agreed, but told him afterward that being just friends sucks for me. He says he knows, but it's all he can give me.

I feel sooooo embarrassed and ashamed for doing this. I tried so hard not to sleep with him and I suddenly get drunk one night and am all for it!? He tried contacting me a couple of days ago, but I didn't respond. Idk if I should speak to him again. I'm hurt that I let myself get into this situation and also that he agreed to sex when he knew I was acting differently. I know it takes two to tango, but I never wanted it to be this way. Now I just feel hurt, and awkward. He says everything is cool and he's not upset about it, but I feel terrible. I don't like casual sex like that . . . especially with him. I feel cheap.

What do I do? Just move on, ignore him, and forget about the whole thing or talk to him about it? Being just friends is too hard, especially when this just happened. I really like the guy, I just can't believe I let it get that far, especially when I knew he didn't want anything more than friends.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

What to Expect When You're Expecting Set Visit: Elizabeth Banks on Her Fake Bump and Personal Baby Joy

Becky Kirsch — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 16:05:11 PST

Some of the biggest names in Hollywood will share the big screen in the upcoming comedy What to Expect When You're Expecting, which follows different mothers-to-be as they prepare for the arrivals of their bundles of joy. Cameron Diaz, Brooklyn Decker, Anna Kendrick, and Elizabeth Banks are among the famous ladies who strapped on fake baby bumps to portray different kinds of pregnant women, and Banks's character, Wendy, doesn't exactly have an easy time of it.

I visited the Atlanta set of the film last year, where Banks was shooting a climactic scene in which her character addresses all the woes of pregnancy - in an auditorium with a rather large audience. The hilarious meltdown, which you can see in the opening of the trailer for What to Expect When You're Expecting, includes harsh truths like "I'm calling it: pregnancy sucks." It was great fun to see Banks film the passionate speech again and again, especially since the funny lady mixed up her one-liners from one take to another. What was even more interesting was seeing all of the extras who played the audience members, since the group of women was a mix of actual pregnant women and women rocking fake baby bumps.

I chatted with Banks about her own experience filming the movie, and she revealed that she actually felt like she was in her own little movie, since she doesn't have much screen time with her costars. Banks was refreshingly honest about not having any parenting tips and also admitted that though welcoming her son, Felix, has brought her a great deal of joy, it hasn't changed her stance on how she feels about kids in general. Here's more of what Banks had to say about pregnancy and motherhood:

What inspired you to take this role?
Elizabeth Banks: I cried when I read the script. It has a really great ending: at the end of the movie, everybody has a baby! It really is just a very relatable story for everyone: anybody who is a parent, has considered being a parent, has a baby, whatever. It's just very universal, what happens in the film. We really explore so many great storylines and different paths to getting a child. I had a unique path to getting my son, so I understand how everybody's path to their child is different.

How does it feel to wear the bump?
EB: It's sweaty! [Laughs] I think it's probably a decent approximation; it weighs a good 10 lbs. The boobs weigh about 6 lbs. They are really unbelievable. It's fun. It definitely makes you sit and walk in a totally different way. As an actor, it's a great prop.

How did you change when you became a mom?
EB: I get drunk much faster and easier, and it's a big problem, so I can't go out very much. I find that I underestimated the amount of joy. I'm really learning about my capacity for joy through my son.

To see what Banks had to say about baby fever and her parenting tips, just keep reading.

In Defense of the Chronically Late Mom

BabyCenter — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 10:01:11 PST

We're excited to share this post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we will be bringing you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Betsy Shaw about being late for school.

If I were to wear a scarlet letter it would be T.

T for tardy. T for turd ball. T for totally inept mother.

We are late for school with such alarming regularity it’s embarrassing. The last time we were on time, after a mini snowstorm that excited my children enough to urge them into their snowsuits and outside at 6:30 a.m., we got to school five minutes early to find it dark and empty. Delayed opening. I was apparently the only mother who didn’t get the memo.

Calling Charlie Brown…

Being late for school brings up a vicious brew of conflicting emotion in me. On the one hand I just don’t care. Life is short. Far too short to risk traumatizing your children with a bullwhip and terrorizing morning walkers and squirrels, not to mention my own white-knuckled children, speeding our way to school like Toad on a motorcar bender each weekday morning.

On the other hand I am ashamed, deeply embarrassed, to be “that mom.” All the other moms can do it, even the single ones. Why. Can’t. I? What’s wrong with me?

I complained about this once to a woman from South Carolina who I met on my Guatemala trip and she told me her school started at 7:30. She also made it clear her kids were never late.

Never late.

Keep reading for more of Betsy's reasoning for being late.

The Muppets' Music Man Bret McKenzie on His Oscar Nod and Taking a Silly Job Seriously

Lindsay Miller — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 14:50:41 PST

Bret McKenzie is up for an exceedingly rare honor this year, with his ballad "Man or Muppet" earning one of just two nominations in the Oscars' best song category. I caught up with The Muppets' musical supervisor today at Walt Disney Studios in Burbank to chat about the awards attention and the unique experience of penning music for Kermit and company. The New Zealand native talked about fighting the temptation to use the word "motherfrogger" in his songwriting and the roundabout way he came on board The Muppets project in the first place. Bret - who previously was best known as one half of the musical comedy duo Flight of the Conchords - also shared his hopes of bringing FOC to the big screen. Check out our conversation below:

PopSugar: It's got to be an honor to be nominated for an Oscar, but also in a year when the Academy only bothered to nominate two songs.
Bret McKenzie: They barely nominated anyone! When I found out, it sounded like there'd been a mistake, and yeah, it's a huge honor. It's great and it's really exciting, and I'm not complaining that there's only two nominees the year I'm nominated. I mean, this is the best chance I'll have of winning an Oscar, ever. It couldn't have been better, unless there was just one nomination, and then it would be a very dull ceremony . . . There's a lot of legendary musicians - tunesmiths - in that list of possible nominations. So it's all very surreal to think that I got in ahead of Elton John.

PS: And Madonna. Those two had a little rivalry going on.
BM: I know. I got nervous about what Elton John's husband was going to say about me. It's crazy, and it's great for The Muppets film, because we're all really proud of the film and it wasn't ever really going to get a best actor. Hey, Jason's good, that's not what I mean, but Kermit, Miss Piggy - they can't win these awards - and comedies don't generally get recognized at these awards ceremonies, so it's kind of cool. It's almost like the film as a whole is being recognized with this category.

For more from our chat with Bret, including what he says about his plans for a Flight of the Conchords film, coaching Jason Segel, and the pressure he felt on the project, just

read more! PS: What was the biggest unexpected challenge for you writing music for the film? I know you talked about one draft of a song where you referred to a Muppet as a piece of felt and were told you couldn't do that. BM: Yeah. Little piece of felt, and you couldn't say things like motherfrogger, even though it's very tempting. There were lots of hard parts to it. The Muppets can't sing certain notes. They can't sing too high or the voice changes and doesn't sound like the right character. There were so many weird things. I spent hours recording penguins and rats, and what's weird is that it's such a silly job, but you have to take it very seriously. So I would be in the studio for days, maybe a whole day recording penguins, and then I'm like, "I'm not happy with how the penguins are sounding! Where's penguin four?" You know, getting demanding. "We lost penguin track four! I can't hear the penguin!" PS: I was watching the movie again last night and watching Jason Segel's performance of "Man or Muppet." Did you coach him on any of his rockstar moves? Because he pretty much nailed it. BM: He nailed it. That's my favorite moment in the film. When he buckles down in the rain, that was one of my favorite shots. I was so proud of what James [Bobin, the director] and those guys achieved, because I wasn't there on set, I just saw them syncing the video, and I was like, "Wow, guys. You nailed it." What we did do in the studio, as Jason and I had a technique where I would sing a line, and he'd watch me through the window, and then he'd sing it back. So we did this thing where, I was really into the drama of it. So, I was like, "Am I a Muppppettt?" [balling his hands into fists] And he'd be like, OK, record. "Am I a Muppppettt!" So we kind of worked together to get that style. PS: Did it shatter some of your childhood illusions to have the guy that does Miss Piggy's voice come work with you [in the recording studio]? BM: Yeah. Well, it wasn't Frank Oz. The guy Eric, who does it now, yeah. That was strange. And the day that we recorded Kermit the Frog doing "Rainbow Connection" - I was sort of pinching myself, because that was probably one of the real moments for me where I realized that my world had really changed. That I'd come from New Zealand, I'd grown up with Kermit the Frog, and now I was in Hollywood in a studio recording Kermit the Frog. It felt like worlds had collided. PS: Was there pressure knowing there was already this great catalog of Muppet songs? To try to add to that or top it in some way? BM: I knew I wouldn't top "Rainbow Connection," but I was very intimidated, but the way I worked on the job was it actually started with me just writing one song, so I didn't feel the pressure of writing the whole movie. I think it would have been different if I'd been hired from the outset to do all the music. So I wrote one, then another, and gradually wrote more and more, so that helped. PS: What song did you write first? BM: The opening song. That's the one they needed, that's the one James asked me to write first. The script was probably on a second draft, and they were in preproduction, so I came in quite late. And the way they were doing it was, they got 100s of demos submitted from all sorts of songwriters, and surprisingly - even though they got some really great people to do demos - people weren't quite hitting the right tone. The Muppet tone. I'd just come off the Conchords tour and I had some time, and James asked if I was interested in doing that opening song, because he had a kind of specific thing he needed from that song. He needed it to be really Muppet-y, that song, and he had a great idea for the whole town joining in, it starting off small and becoming a big musical number, and that came together really well. PS: Is this experience maybe something you want to bring to a Flight of the Conchords movie? BM: Yeah, exactly. Having done this movie now, we're in a much better place to do a Conchords film, because James is more experienced - well, we're all more experienced. Not specifically, but James Bobin - well, we're all very keen to do another studio musical, because I really enjoyed being able to do comedy musical numbers on such a grand scale, and I think next time, I really think it will just get better and better. Because it's such a fun genre, and we've done like 50 songs for TV now, and now The Muppets movie, and I feel like we've accidentally sort of become musical comedy experts. PS: What do you imagine Bret and Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords are up to these days, in their universe? BM: In the Lower East Side? That's a good question. I reckon they probably got a regular gig now. Like, at a Chinese restaurant. Photo courtesy Disney

Adventures in Ingredients: Indian Bitter Melon

Camilla Salem — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 14:10:57 PST

To me, Berkeley Bowl is a sacred place worthy of a weekly pilgrimage. Perhaps the ultimate food-lover's grocery store, this massive Berkeley, CA, food emporium carries a huge selection of goods from around the world, and at great prices. I consider it a must stop for friends visiting the Bay Area, so why not share my adventures?

The most remarkable part of the store is probably the produce, which is clearly labeled to identify where each item comes from. The international and bulk sections offer never-ending inspiration, the meats and seafoods offer countless options and price points, and I always find myself mesmerized by fruits and vegetables from around the world that I've never seen before.

Case in point: Indian bitter melon. I grabbed five or six of these a week ago in an effort to learn about new exotic foods. Knowing nothing at all, I selected these purely based on the fact that they seemed sort of reptilian and would be fun to photograph. As the days went on (and as the bitter melon sat in the crisper drawer of my refrigerator), I became more hesitant, not sure what I was thinking.

Finally, I braved up, opened my computer, and did a little research. As it turns out, Indian bitter melon, or karela, is a commonly cooked vegetable in Indian cuisine. It's described all over the Internet as an "acquired taste," and apparently soaking it in salt water helps to remove some of the bitterness. I found recipes for stuffing and sautéing with various spices. The health benefits of this strange vegetable are plentiful, particularly in managing diabetes, and typically, I can convince myself to like anything if it's good for me.

To find out what I did with these and what I thought of them, keep reading.

"Should I Stay or Should I Go?"

Tres Community — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 03:05:00 PST

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year and two months. Since this year has started, I’ve been trying to decide what I need to do in regards to our relationship. My main issue is the minimal effort he has put into making things work. He has his own business, of which he needs one or two more people to assist. However, besides his sister helping on occasion, he does everything on his own. From the start, I understood, as well as accepted this. However, our dates have always been centered around his business or attending one friend’s parties. This averages out to me seeing him about once a month.

We have never gone out and spent an evening by ourselves, nor have we ever done anything “special.” When I ask him about this, he always just says he’s busy. His sister has said to both him and myself, that even if he’s busy, he has the type of business in which I can hang out at. After two big blow outs between us where he was blatantly disrespectful to me, I’m beginning to wonder about the future of our relationship. He used to call me at least once a day, and now three to four days will pass before he calls. I usually try to call him at least once a day, however, I’ve noticed that if I don’t call him, four days will pass before I hear anything from him.

So, over a week ago I called him and told him I don’t think it was going to work. He invited me over to talk about it and the conversation ended after I expressed my frustration with our current state of affairs. He told me that he loves me, he doesn’t want to lose me, and he promises that he is going to give me much more attention. He has promised this before, which I have pointed out, but he says that this time it’s really going to be different.

This past week, the only time we spoke was when I called. Of course, our conversations never even lasted past three minutes. This morning, I called him to let him know that I was going to be in town later, to help my cousin organize an upcoming charity event, and was wondering if he would like to get together in the evening. He was hesitant at first, and then said that he was going to be busy, but I could come over. He’s planning to have friends over.

This is how it’s been from the time we’ve met. I love him, but I’m increasingly feeling like I deserve more than this. I would like for us to spend time together, especially seeing as I have to drive an hour to see him. I do all the driving because he doesn’t drive. What should I do?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.